Love@AOL by Match.com
offers a fun and secure environment to meet other quality singles.
It’s also a great place to build loving and trusting friendships
that can lead to lasting, offline relationships. Whether you decide to
correspond online or meet members offline, please use sound judgment
and be responsible for your conduct. In both the virtual and real
worlds, common sense is your best safety tool.
1. Start slow
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin by
communicating solely via Match.com Messenger or email, then look for
odd behavior or inconsistencies. The person at the other end may not
be who or what he or she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes
you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.
- Guard
your anonymity
All correspondence between Love@AOL
by Match.com members takes place through our double-blind system,
ensuring your true identity is protected until you decide to
reveal it. Never include your last name, email address, home
address, phone number, place of work or any other identifying
information in your free
profile or initial messages. When corresponding with another
Love@AOL by Match.com member, turn off your email signature file.
Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for personal
information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it.
- Exercise
caution and common sense
Careful, thoughtful decisions
generally yield better dating results. Guard against trusting the
untrustworthy; suitors must earn your trust gradually, through
consistently honorable, forthright behavior. Take all the time you
need to test for a trustworthy person and pay careful attention
along the way. If you suspect someone is lying, he or she probably
is, so act accordingly. Be responsible about romance, and don’t
fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don’t become prematurely
intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online.
If you mutually decide to cross the point of no return, be smart
and protect yourself. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention provide some of the most current
information available about sexually transmitted diseases and
preserving your health.
- Request
a photo
A photo will give you a good idea of
the person's appearance, which may prove helpful in achieving a
gut feeling. In fact, it’s best to view several images of
someone in various settings: casual, formal, indoor and outdoors.
If all you hear are excuses about why you can't see a photo,
consider that he or she has something to hide. Since Love@AOL by
Match.com offers free scanning services to its members, there’s
no reason someone shouldn’t be able to provide you a photo.
- Chat
on the phone
A phone call can reveal much about a
person’s communication and social skills. Consider your security
and do not reveal your personal phone number to a stranger. Try a
cell phone number instead or use local telephone blocking
techniques to prevent your phone number from appearing in Caller
ID. Only furnish your phone number when you feel completely
comfortable.
- Meet
when YOU are ready
The beauty of meeting and relating
online is that you can collect information gradually, later
choosing whether to pursue the relationship in the offline world.
You never are obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level
of online intimacy. And even if you decide to arrange a meeting,
you always have the right to change your mind. It’s possible
that your decision to keep the relationship at the anonymous level
is based on a hunch that you can’t logically explain. Trust
yourself. Go with your instincts.
- Watch
for red flags
Pay
attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to
pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner,
making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically
inappropriate behavior are all red flags. You should be concerned
if your date exhibits any of the following behavior without
providing an acceptable explanation:
- Provides
inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance,
marital status, profession, employment, etc.
- Refuses to
speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online
intimacy.
- Fails to
provide direct answers to direct questions.
- Appears
significantly different in person from his or her online
persona.
- Never
introduces you to friends, professional associates or family
members.
- Meet
in a safe place
When you choose to meet offline,
always tell a friend where you are going and when you will return.
Leave your date’s name and telephone number with your friend.
Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Provide your
own transportation, meet in a public place at a time with many
people around, and when the date is over, leave on your own as
well. A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot
of other people will be present, is often a fine choice. If you
decide to move to another location, take your own car. When the
timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and
say goodbye.
- Take
extra caution outside your area
If you are flying in from another
city, arrange for your own car and hotel room. Do not disclose the
name of your hotel and never allow your date to make the
arrangements for you. Rent a car at the airport and drive directly
to your hotel. Call your date from the hotel or meet at the
location you have already agreed to. If the location seems
inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel. Try to contact
your date at that location or leave a message on a home machine.
Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and
has your contact information. And if possible, carry a cell phone
at all times.
- Get
yourself out of a jam
Never do anything you feel unsure
about. If you are in any way afraid of your date, use your best
judgment to diffuse the situation and get out of there. Excuse
yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else
on the scene for help or slip out the back door and drive away. If
you feel you are in danger, call the police; it’s always better
to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your
behavior; your safety is much more important than one person’s
opinion of you.
While liars, cheaters
and imposters certainly ply their craft on the Web, you’ll also find
them in nightclubs and offline dating services, cocktail parties or
even sitting across from you at your local café. Regardless of where
you meet someone, dating is never a risk-free activity, but a little
caution will reduce your risk in matters of the heart.
Now it's time for
safety-conscious you to use a quick
search to find a quality date!