In restaurant terms, there are two kinds of people in the world: those who love to try new dishes and those who order the same item every time. Those in the latter category probably tend to fight change of any kind, finding warmth and security only in familiar surroundings. But change is exciting and always will creep into your life at some point, so it’s probably easiest just to accept it—even easier to embrace it.

A time for change.
I’ve found that most of the positive forces in my life have resulted from a brave and entirely new leap I’ve taken, so needless to say, I’m a big fan of change.

You can make things happen in your life, even with small steps, like changing the way you introduce yourself. Even if you have a tried and true line that’s 95% effective, you never know what a new one will lead to. Here are a few ideas to give you a fresh start—with a new foot in the dating door:

1. Start with a joke. A good one. It’s a great icebreaker, and if it’s genuinely funny (though not dirty), you’ve got a good chance. If you get a laugh, go on to introduce yourself. If you don’t, get out—fast.

 

2. Make eye contact. Yes, most women like attention, but they don’t necessarily want you to gawk or ogle to get it. Instead, show her that you’re genuinely interested and sincere when you tell her she “has incredible eyes.”

 

3. Ask her advice or opinion on an important matter—like what you should get your sister for her birthday (shows you think she has good taste) or if she knows how the so-and-so Supreme Court case turned out that day (shows you think she looks intelligent).

 

4. Open up online. The next time you introduce yourself on Match.com, do it with a little flair. Start with a romantic or funny story or create a riddle with an answer that reveals something about yourself.

 

5. Act innocent. If you want to introduce yourself without appearing overly suggestive, that’s exactly what you should say. “I’m really not trying to pick you up; I just wanted to know if you’ve ever been to such and such, because I know I’ve seen you there before, and I didn’t want you to think I was rude by not acknowledging you.”

 

6. Ask for the introduction. If you’re feeling extra confident and thick-skinned, simply ask, “Would you like to meet me?”

 

7. Be charming. Some one-liners can be effective—and irresistible—if done right. Try one of these (with a playful and confident approach): “If he doesn’t show, I’ll be right over here” or “There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you.”

 

8. Be brave. Subtlety has its place, but sometimes its best to just go for it. After sizing up the situation and how much time you have to work with, you may just want to come right out and say, “I’m really attracted to you and would like to spend some time with you.”

 

9. Walk by, nod or wink and keep going. If he’s interested, he’ll follow and introduce himself.

 

10. A novel idea. Try this opener: “Hi, my name is…”

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