Guy walks into a bar.
Sits down next to a pretty girl and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
"Here," he
says. "For you."
"No,
thanks," she says. "I don’t smoke."
"That’s okay
— these aren’t cigarettes."
He pulls out a red
silk thong.
"I’d love to
see you in this," he says with a wink. He drops the thong, with
his name and number attached, on the bar and walks to the jukebox.
That conversation
starter’s more likely to get you talking to the bouncer than the
babe. Whether you’re online or in person, starting a conversation
can leave you… well, speechless. Here are some tips for crafting an
effective entré.
- Common
ground
If you meet at an art gallery, you
can launch the conversation with, "I love the brush technique
on this painting. How do you feel about it?" Or if it’s at
the driving range, ask her for some pointers on your stroke or
quit a few balls early and offer him your extras. Note: If
you’re at a party, the old, "How do you know Bill?"
line is pretty harmless, even if the person you’re talking to
doesn’t know the host.
- Observation
deck
Use your powers of observation. Is
your intended wearing a sweatshirt with your alma mater (or your
brother’s or mom’s or…)? If so, open with, "I went to
Carolina, did you?" or something like that. Or if she’s got
a noticeable accent, you might inquire where she’s from or what
accent that is. Caution: Some observations won’t work. For
instance, even if you do, announcing "I love your hair"
sounds so much like a line it’s probably not going to have much
real meaning.
- Out
on a limb
If you’re feeling a little
mischievous, you could give this a shot: "Do you have a
sister named Michelle?" Of course, if your target does have a
sister named Michelle, you might have to back pedal. But if not…
Caution: If you have any interest beyond conversation, it’s best
to come clean once the conversation gets started. Some people may
find it charming that you concocted a ruse to meet them; others
may decide they don’t want to get involved with someone who
deliberately manipulated them.
- E
is for effort
Avoid hackneyed phrases like,
"Come here often?" "Didn't I see you in a
dream?" or "I like what you’re wearing. It would look
good on my floor." And unless you’re an astrologer, don’t
even think about asking, "What’s your sign?"
- Old
reliables
If you’re at a bar or the counter
at a restaurant, ask him if he could make a recommendation. This
one’s also good at retail establishments like the book or
hardware store. Note: If you spy a hottie staring blankly at the
items, you either can ask him which brand of whatever it is he
prefers, or ask if he needs help choosing.
Regardless of the
theme, the real success factor is presentation — especially for the
fellas. Two guys could deliver the same cheesy line, but the one who
appears genuinely interested will likely get the digits, while the one
who seems to be on the make will end up talking to the hand.
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