If you’ve subscribed
with Match.com, at least one date is almost inevitable. That would be
the infamous "first" date—the one that makes you nervous
and queasy, anxious and self-conscious.
Get over it! Here are
some proven tips to help alleviate the stress of your first date.
Evolve the
conversation. The beauty of online dating is that you’re never
required to go in blind. Once you’ve made the connection, get to
know each other through email. From there, move to the telephone for
a few real-time conversations. You’ll be old pals by the time you
meet!
Take all photo
opps. Some may disagree, but I strongly suggest a photo up
front. You’ll know who you’re looking for at the meeting place,
and you’ll be assured there’s at least a chance for attraction.
Take it easy.
Start short and sweet with lunch, a quick dinner or drinks. Pressed
for time? Try a bagel and coffee in the morning before work.
You’ll be in and out in 30 minutes or less. And even if you’re
the dress-up type, keep the first date fashion turned down to casual
for best comfort.
Be prepared.
Make a mental list of things to talk about—conversation crib
notes, if you like. Just keep them ready any time you feel the
conversation coming to a stall. Things like work, hobbies, travel,
kids, pets or even the weather. If you followed Tip #1, you should
have plenty of material at hand.
Get some action.
Not that kind of action. If you’re typically uncomfortable with
new people, schedule a high action activity to start the date. Not
only will attention be focused on the task at hand, you’ll have
something to converse about later. Think hiking, indoor rock
climbing, dance lessons; you’ll be much too busy for awkward
moments!
Be nice. Even
if you know before the handshake that this date is not "the
one," be friendly and cordial. There is no need for
unpleasantries that make your date uncomfortable. Definitely don’t
argue or debate today’s top issues, and resist the urge to glance
at your watch. Keep your attention focused on the conversation (and
date) at hand—yes, even if you spot a cutie at the bar.
Don’t forget
previous conversations. Sometimes it’s difficult to transition
from the online to offline world. Remind yourself that you’ve been
conversing with this person for the past few days or weeks. You do
"sort of" know them. If you find the ice isn’t melting,
recall a funny moment from an email conversation.
Enjoy the moment.
Keep in mind: it’s only a moment in time. Your whole life
doesn’t rest on this meeting. The first date is merely an
introduction to determine if there’s any chemistry worth pursuing.
If there is, great! Continue on to date number two. If not, no big
deal. Just relax and have fun!
