In any war, you had
better arrive ready for action. One small misstep and you might find
yourself cut loose from the object of your desire; alternatively, you
could find yourself on the date-from-hell with no escape in sight.
Here are five steps
to survival and success during the Dating Wars.
Carry breath
mints! You’re on a date, and you’ve been munching on some
spicy Thai delicacies…oh no! Suddenly, you’ve got dragon breath,
and you’re talking with your hand in front of your mouth. Have
some mints handy. Not gum—mints! You may have bad breath, but
that’s no reason to be chomping and smacking your jowls.
Protect
yourself—and your sweetie! That’s right: be prepared.
Don’t store condoms in your wallet; they can be broken easily that
way. Put condoms in your wallet, and later that year you’ll need
to move them to make room for the baby photos.
Have a plan.
It’s like your high school guidance counselor said: "fail to
plan, plan to fail." You don’t wing things on dates… you
plan them. The nightclub you suggest on the spur of the moment has a
great band playing (you know because you checked the paper earlier).
When it occurs to you to visit the local art museum, you already
know that there is a travelling exhibition of rare paintings waiting
for you. Let the conversation be spontaneous, but let the location
be the result of careful planning.
The right
clothing and the right gear are essential. Imagine business
casual… but wear high-quality clothes. Don’t wear the same
frayed, old chinos you bought two years ago. Put on some decent,
recently dry-cleaned dress pants. As for the right gear, you should
remember that women always dress lightly and then complain about the
cold. Have a light sweater in the backseat of your car. Keep an
umbrella handy as well.
And for
emergencies only... the cell phone. Suppose you’re on the
date-from-hell. She spends an hour telling you about her lousy
ex-boyfriends. Maybe she cries after you suggest she order
steak—she hasn’t been able to afford steak in months, what with
the expense of paying of paying for the rehab and all. It’s time
to bail out. Go to the bathroom, call a friend on your cell phone,
and give him instructions to call you back in 15-20 minutes. While
you’re waiting, think of some emergency. When the call comes
through, take it and act shocked. Apologize to your date… throw
down some money to cover the check, and get out of there fast. You
hate to leave, but your mother has just had a heart attack, your
business has just been robbed, a meteor is headed for Earth, etc.
Steve Bowden, Match.com
