So you read the Mars-Venus books, practiced reciting great pickup lines and learned how to order wine. You tried acting sensitive, and when that didn't work, you reverted to macho. You watched chick-flicks. You kissed women's hands. You took ballroom dance lessons, for Pete's sake.

But nothing seems to be working. When you ask women out, they say they're doing laundry.

What do women want, anyway?
Well, guys, here's the inside scoop. We want romance.

"Romance makes women feel special and cared for — which puts us in the mood for sex," says Chicago clinical psychologist Kate Wachs, author of Relationships for Dummies.

Romance at first glance
Ask a woman what turns her on when she's introduced to a guy, and she's likely to mention hygiene and grooming — stuff like scrubbed fingernails, pressed clothing and trimmed nose hair.

"I like guys who have a fresh, just-stepped-out-of-the-shower scent," says Casey, a banker.

Cleaning up nicely is a universal must. Beyond that, opinions vary as to what makes a hottie, well, hot.

Some women go for guys in suits; others love a man in jeans. Mary, a communications consultant, falls for clean-shaven men with no facial hair. Janine, a customer service manager, swoons over the scruffy look. "A couple days' chin growth makes a man look masculine," she says.

Romance turns all women on. But how can you be romantic when you first meet someone? It's easy. Just pay attention to her.

"Pull out her chair; open her door; take off her coat," Wachs suggests.

Romance on dates
"Later on, touching becomes important," says Wachs. "Sit close to her," she suggests. "Put your arm around her. Rub her shoulders. Kiss her neck."

Jennifer, a writer, loves when her boyfriend John holds her hand, rubs her back or strokes her hair in public. "It's his way of saying, 'I'm with her,' which is nice," she says.

Those comfortable little gestures help establish an emotional tie, says Jeanine, an executive assistant. "I find it somewhat erotic if a guy lightly strokes the inside of my upper arm. I feel like we're connecting."

Talk is a major turn on. Listen while she vents about her problems. Ask about her job, her hobbies. Compliment her. Let her know you're having a good time with her.

"There's nothing worse than sitting through a date in awkward silence or fending off inappropriate sexual or downright stupid comments," Jeanine says. "When we're sharing in interesting conversation or witty banter, it indicates the guy just might be worth getting to know better."

Romance keeps sex sizzling
If sex is fizzling, a fresh attitude can stoke the flames.

Some women say they love foot or back massages; others fantasize about a candlelit bubble bath for two. Casey still sighs over a guy who emailed a seductive photo of himself, along with a graphic description of what he'd like to do with her when they got together.

"Creativity is key," says Kathy, a magazine editor. She loves when her man plans a seduction scene — complete with music, food and drinks, location, lighting and scents.

"[But for many women] making love isn't really the sexual part. It's the stuff that goes with it," says Wachs. "It's the holding, the touching, the emotional bonding."

In other words: It's the romance.

Search for local singles and put your passion on parade! Romance could live right around the corner!