One of the greatest
challenges in dating is making a good first impression. That’s why
online dating sounds so much easier — instead of talking to someone,
you first send them email messages. What could be easier, right?
Don’t kid yourself.
You may know what a great guy you are, but trying to condense your
personality into a few genuinely appealing sentences is really tough.
That’s because what you think women should know and what they
actually want to know are two different things. And it
doesn’t get any easier just because you’re using a keyboard rather
than a telephone.
Here’s the trick
The trick to presenting yourself successfully hinges on highlighting
who you really are. This will not only determine whether she’ll be
receptive to you, but it will also give you a sense whether meeting
her is worthwhile. So here’s a few suggestions to get you on your
way.
- Be honest.
Now you may think that being short, out of shape, bald, or even
having a habit like smoking is something that can be dealt with
later — after you’ve met and impressed her. But giving a false
impression will only hurt you in the end.
Faking it can really mess things up because if a woman is looking
for a Schwartzenegger, she ain’t going to be impressed when
Woody Allen comes along. Not only does dishonesty almost guarantee
a door slammed in your face, you’ll have wasted time that could
have been spent meeting someone else who prefers the real you.
- Be proud of
your interests.
There’s nothing wrong with liking sports, video games, car
racing and action movies. Pretending you like ballet or flower
shows when you don’t inevitably will come back to bite you. Of
course you want to put your best foot forward, but the only way
you can impress her is by being yourself — not what you think
she wants you to be. Sure, this means a lot of times you’ll be
rejected, but it also means that when you’re not, it’ll be so
much better than if you had been faking it.
- Be smart.
Remember that the written word has different “rules” than when
speaking to someone in person. So what might be a good joke on the
phone can become an insult when read, and what you think makes you
sound charming can instead come off as obnoxious. Emails have a
way of being taken literally, and once they’ve been sent, they
can’t be retracted. Take your time, and don’t be in a hurry.
Read your message carefully before you press “Send” and make
sure it isn’t open to misinterpretation.
There’s no
guarantees when meeting someone online, but there are some obvious
roadblocks that will get in your way — and which you avoid. By
following these few simple rules, you’ll at least improve your
chances of finding that special someone.
Feeling more
confident now? Use a quick
search to find local singles and contact
other members today!
Marshal M.
Rosenthal, Match.com
