What do these things have in common? Why, they’re the quirky little rituals some of you told me you observe with every first date!

Much like bringing along a rabbit’s foot, many single people rely on the magic of ritual to ensure a successful first date. One Match.com member even wrote me to say he wears the same underwear:

“I have to wear my silk boxers with the hearts,” he says. “I always get a second date when I wear them.”

I just hope you launder them frequently, dear.

Primp and circumstance
Getting ready for a date is a cornucopia of compulsions for superstitious singles. Another member confessed to me that she refuses to answer the phone while she’s preparing for a first date with a new suitor.

“I want the first word from my lips to be his name,” she says. “If I talk to someone before I speak to him, it’ll mess up my mojo.”

Still another confides, “I like to carry a picture of my junior high school boyfriend with me to the date. No, I don’t show it to anyone, but that guy was so sweet to me that I hope some of his magic will rub off onto a new relationship.”

Going out… way out
Do you find yourself slipping into rituals during your first encounter with new romance? You wouldn’t be alone.

A 30-year old young man on Match.com admits without reservation, “If my knife, fork and spoon aren’t aligned in parallel, something bad will happen on the date.” It’s hard to argue with logic like that.

The same member always takes his first dates to the same Italian restaurant. “None of my relationships have lasted very long, and my friends tell me the restaurant is jinxing me.” Yeah… it’s the restaurant. That must be it

Wee wee — all the way home
You had a marvelous evening. You obviously enjoyed each other’s company, and every clever flirt was met with a smart, sexy retort. Nothing could have been better — except that you really needed to excuse yourself to the powder room. But you couldn’t.

“Once I was on a date,” reports a woman in Seattle, “and I excused myself to use the restroom. When I returned to the table, my date was gone! The waitress told me he just got up and walked out. Since then I never go to the restroom during a date — even if I’m about to burst.”

Now I ask you, my faithful readers, who else among you would risk something more than chemistry coming between you and your date?

People have relied on ritual since time began (I remember!); it provides structure and allows us to create comfortable patterns of behavior. But when your dating rituals become compulsive, don’t be surprised if you find yourself without a date. Take it from me and my centuries of experience, the real magic of successful relationships lies in the connection between two people — not in the rituals you invent to reduce your dating anxieties.

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