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| Tips Section: Miscellaneous | |
| Sustaining the Long Distance Relationship |
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Today’s
lifestyle requires more and more couples to sustain their relationship
long distance. It’s inherent in some occupations, such as war
correspondents, diplomats, active military, CEOs, airline personnel,
truckers, and professional performers – athletes, musicians, actors,
speakers and entertainers.
It can also take place in the beginning of a courtship, for instance, if you meet someone on the Internet, or are contacted by a “long lost love.” Here are some tips for staying close emotionally while you’re physically apart: Key ingredient is, trust has to be there. if you have issues with infidelity, it can be your worst nightmare. Get therapy or coaching and find out if the problem is yours, singular, or yours, plural; past or present; real or fantasy. You don’t need to be thinking about that, and if you are, there’s something there that needs to be looked at. 1. Name a star after them. In one long distance relationship I had, the gentleman was a sailor. He taught me about the constellations and at night, when apart, on the phone, we would walk outside and look up at the stars together. Go here, and you can name a star after him or her, or the two of you. 2. Give them something directly related to making their travel easier. If it’s in the air, try something like the American Airlines Admiral’s Club. With the membership, running around $450 for one person, for one year, they receive assistant with reservations seat selection and boarding pass issuance; and, depending upon location, complimentary snacks and beverages; private bar; shower; conference rooms and business centers with fax, photocopiers, personal computers, audio-visual equipment, telephones, message and catering services, speaker phones and presentation boards. It will make their life easier AND, who are they going to think about when they’re in there enjoying themselves, relatively speaking. 3. Take advantage of the “instant” modern communication devices to stay in touch as often as you like, and is possible. Cell phone and laptops make constant communicating possible. 4. Be empathic to the circumstances of the traveling partner. If they’re “traveling” currently in Iraq, imagine the stress. I mean feel what they’re going through. Perhaps this would be a time to table any ongoing concerns, and do more listening than talking. On the other hand, in certain circumstances, the talking is better and more intense, and emotional things can be dealt with. Someone who’s seeing death every day is very motivated to make their “real” life the best it can be. They also have a keen sense of what “matters”. 5. Have ongoing joint educational projects via the Internet. Call them “virtual dates” if you like. Take quizzes and assessments together on the Internet and share the results. Email pages you’ve found or articles of interest to both of you, personality quizzes, recipes, whatever’s going on! 6. Have a virtual “date” for entertainment. You can visit interesting places on the web, taking virtual tours together, for instance of the Louvre, an aquarium, a zoo, a battlefield, looking at houses in a town, anything that might be fun. 7. Pick a topic to share about and take turns “presenting.” Kobe beef – what’s the mystique? Or what does Emotional Intelligence mean? Make a list of topics and divide it up before the departing spouse leaves. Assign topics. 8. Be reading a book together (there’s a lot of wait time in airports), then discuss the book, look up the reviews on a site such as amazon.com and write a review together, or separately, and submit it. 9. Take advantage of the Internet for sending little gifts – a lot! Candles, flowers, books, and things with personal sentimental appeal. If you got engaged at a Ruth’s Chris, send a Ruth’s Chris gift certificate. Whoever they take with them, they’ll be thinking of you! 10. Schedule a
“service” for the other spouse. Have a masseuse come to the home or
hotel room (okay, you know the drill!), send a maid, send a repairman,
send a catered meal, send a pizza! It’s the thought that counts. 12. Record your voice on one of those small photo frames and tuck it in their luggage. 13. Put special thoughts on pieces of paper, one for each day they’ll be gone, put these inside a festive container (or just a jar) and tuck it in their luggage. They pull out a message each day and watch the messages disappear as the day for reuniting draws closer. You can do this with their favorite candy too! 14. Use your digital camera! Don’t just TELL them what’s going on, SHOW them who you meet, where you go, what you see. 15. Write them a letter to be there upon their arrival. There’s nothing like a hand-written love letter. 16. Have something waiting for them in their room when they arrive. Flowers, candy, fruit, balloons. It's the thought that counts.
About the Author View Photos of Singles .... Click here! Back to Top |
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