Lovers have their own form of baby talk, and overheard conversations of honeymooning couples sound just as saccharine to the average bystander as a new mother's game of "kitchy kitchy coo." But that doesn't stop even the most sober-minded among us from using pet names. In my time I've used and been called by a quite a few: "T-bird," "Ducky" and "Coco Puff" come to mind.

Sometimes these supposedly affectionate epithets border on the insulting. One guy started calling me "Filthy Goat" (that's when I knew the relationship was doomed). But while the private language of lovers has its appeal, there's nothing like hearing a guy say my name.

My full name is Coco Rhetorica Helado…
…and I adore hearing someone I love say the whole thing, start to finish—with a special intonation of desire or tenderness. I've never been able to figure out why. After all, my mother sometimes used my entire name, as did my teachers at school... but back then it usually meant I was about to get sent to my room or summoned to the principal's office.

On the tongue of a boyfriend or beau, however, my name sounds, well, extremely personal. And if he says it on the phone, I know for certain that he's alone, and he's thinking only of me.

The old standbys.
Of course, less personalized terms of endearment also have their charm.

 

If a guy says "Sweetie" too often, I begin to wonder if there have been so many women in his life he can't bother to remember their names at all.

 

"Babe" is fun in a retro kind of way but needs to be uttered with a touch of irony or I start to wonder if the next words out of his mouth will be, "I'm a rollin' stone and I've got to be movin' on."

 

"Doll" is fine for a touch of pre-war machismo, but he has to do a convincing imitation of Humphrey Bogart to get away with it.

 

And "Honey" sounds a bit beleaguered, as though he were an overworked waiter or the guy fixing my transmission.

By any other name…
Any woman who's ever been accidentally called another woman's name by her beau knows true disappointment, not to mention fury; it means somebody else is on his mind, usually an ex-girlfriend. But the guy usually catches himself almost immediately and, as a form of damage control, starts calling the woman by her true name as often as possible. A bouquet of guilt-relieving flowers is often not too far behind.

I'd rather be called anything—"Mamacita," "Lady," even "You!" than "Lucinda" or "Sarah." And "Darling" or any of its equivalents will do in a pinch. But if you really want to please me... say my name!