Dating involves trial and error. Often after a promising beginning we find that the person we shared a pleasant evening or intriguing email conversation with just isn't the one. Eeeeep. Wrong answer. Try again. Time to move on. So you tell him that. And he calls back. And emails. And calls again, just to see how your day was. He's definitely failed the take-a-hint test. Now what?

Let's all hope you never have to use these. If you haven't given "I'm sorry, but I don't want to see you again" a try, you probably owe him that. Take the following tactics only after the honesty approach has failed.

1. The broken record.
   Good if you're not comfortable with creative stories. He may be latching on to some modifier in your "I don't want to see you" statement and interpreting it to mean continued interest. Examples being "not right now", "not ready", "I feel bad about hurting your feelings". Write out a clear, concise statement, and put it on a post-it note by the phone. Repeat it in response to his calls. Avoid other conversation. Respond to all his emails with it, without adding other comments. Can't avoid seeing him in person? You may have to have it printed on business cards.
   
   
2. Mom is in town.
   Tell him your mother has come to live with you while her home undergoes painstaking dissection and remodeling to rid it of toxic black mold spores. She's afraid she may never be able to go back. Come to think of it, you can't figure out what this stuff on your coat is, either.
   
   
3. Tell him you're joining a celibate religious order.
   Even considering a vow of silence. If you are concerned that he might research it, make one up. You must do this with a straight face. He may express disbelief and/or imply that you are lying. Insist. Then try this one: "Good bye. May the twelve blessings of the central order penetrate you in the end time."
   
   
4. Have strange "dreams" that involve him.
   Respond to his emails with involved descriptions of the one where he's waddling along in a vast herd of penguins chasing you down the street or the one where the Washington monument collapses on his car while you're kissing Antonio Banderas. Don't make any additional comments. Screen your calls.
   
   
5. Tell him you've encountered long lost relatives or lovers.
   If that doesn't work, add more as needed. How about, "The children I put up for adoption have come to find me. I'm going to be so busy building a relationship with all of them" or "I just ran into that wealthy adventurer who left me his grandmother's engagement ring when we parted after a torrid affair four years ago, we are thinking about going out for drinks".
   
   

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